(A performance piece
for a(n ideally French) female with musical accompaniment)
In the valley in which I live there is
a zoo;
It is beautiful, but difficult to find.
It is far from any large road
And the signs that advertise its
presence are poorly situated.
The zoo is small, but well stocked
The feeding of its inhabitants,
Particularly its carnivores, is
expensive.
I learned of the financial challenges
during one of my many visits.
I was one of the few visitors
And, after a time, I got to know the
owner, a tall man called Didier.
Gentle guitar
We were roughly the same age and both
single people,
But we did not become lovers
As he was preoccupied with money
problems
And I found him physically repellent
(I have never been fond of tall
people).
Harsh Guitar
One day I noticed that next to the
animals' names on the descriptive labels
There was a price tag:
20 euros for a Dwarf Goat
15 for a plum-headed parakeet
200 for a yak
5 for a Malaysian Giant Land Snail
And so on
I was immediately concerned that
someone would buy the animals
And deprive me of their company
So I bought what I could;
I bought the aforementioned
And a Wild Pig.
Having nowhere to put the animals I was
obliged to leave them there.
I continued to buy animals during
ensuing visits,
Gradually selling off my extensive
collection of 18th century chinoiserie,
Until I had bought all the zoo's
residents -
Even a Giraffe, whose extreme height I
found particularly unappealing.
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At first Didier was delighted
He suddenly found himself with money,
he bought himself a small and sporty car,
Though he rarely drove it as it could
not carry bales of hay or buckets of offal.
To feed the many animals, none of which
were now his, he continued to use his van
In which he would roar up and down the
valley
Guitar.
Even though his
business was saved and he had a sporty car
Didier resented the
fact that the animals were no longer his,
The animals seemed
to sense this, even the Ostrich,
That tall and
dim-witted bird.
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The creatures would
gather around when I neared their enclosures;
When Didier
approached they shied away
As if they knew he
had betrayed them.
It didn't help that
I had taught the assorted parrots and macaws to say “Hello Odile”
-
For my name is
Odile.
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I would take them
titbits,
Choice collations I
would create at home
Much preferable to
hay and offal.
This proved to be
the last straw for Didier
Who said I was
making the animals' diet unbalanced
And barred me from
visiting the zoo
Despite my being
the establishment's only season ticket holder.
Sad Guitar
I countered his
action by standing on some high ground upwind of the zoo
And raising my arms
in order to better disseminate
A heavy perfume,
“Dolce Vita” by Dior, that I habitually wear
And that the
animals associated with treats.
As soon as they
detected my scent
The zoo's inmates
grew restless
The lion growled -
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And roared -
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The Hyenas cackled
-
Chaotic Guitar
The elephant
trumpeted -
No guitar
And so on.
Eventually, as a
consequence of the cacophony,
Didier was obliged
to lift the ban.
To tell the truth I
felt a little sorry for him
He was looking
stooped, shorter... more attractive...
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As a gesture of
reconciliation
I taught the Mynah
bird to say, “Hello Didier”.
Didier seemed
touched by this and we have since become closer.
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In the afternoons,
after Didier has finished his rounds,
We sometimes stroll
through the zoo together.
There is rarely
anyone else around,
But we never feel
alone
What with all the
“Hello Odile”s and the “Hello Didier”,
And the roar of the
lion
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And the cackling of
the hyenas
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And the trumpeting
of the elephant
No guitar
CURTAIN
